Sharing Wisdom

Young folks often look to their elders when they need answers. Wisdom is something that must ferment, I am told. Life does not give up its answers easily or quickly. Humans must experience many things in order to spew adages and fables of great import.

I have lived a good number of years on the planet. So just when does this wisdom manifest itself? I have just three small packets of seed I am 100% sure of for those who sit at my feet, waiting for me to impart my wisdom. Those fledglings are the two cats who are always underfoot in this house who never listen to a word I say anyhow. Number one, "Never pick at a scab". Number two, "Pepper before salt." And number three, "Use just the right amount of toilet paper."

As for number one, the healing process takes a long time. Let it be. And, yes, we can also apply this saying to other facets of life. For instance, when you say something stupid that offends a loved one, don't keep needling her about it. You might as well just admit you were wrong at the beginning and avoid a whole slather of tears and pity-gathering, mostly your own. Winning is out of the question. You are over-matched and under-equipped. I know this for a fact.

When I say pepper before salt, I mean go long on the hot and spicy and short on the old standby. Literally, salt isn't good for you. It seems like it might be, because it's a comfortable taste. It's the easy way to get that pasta or meat flavored, but it will clog you up like a vacuum sucking up kitty litter. Metaphorically, pepper is there to spice up your life. Don't just do what you always do. For Valentine's Day, don't get the candy or flowers, and for God's sake don't buy her the food processor. Spice it up and splurge on the trip to Tanganyika. Trust me on this.

As for the last statement, I know this seems a little odd, but the planet is depending on you to get it right. First of all, it's important to get the right product. Never buy the premium brand of toilet paper nor the cheapest. Purchase the middle-of-the-road brand. It's both economically and environmentally ideal. Remember, just two squares not more than twice will do it. Front to back, then drop.

I never realized how tiring it is to dispense proper wisdom. I need to take a short nap. I also have great advice on napping, but I believe I'll wait until my strength comes back. Ciao.